So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
