I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
