so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
