i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
