I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
