Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So much rum. So many feels.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
