he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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