? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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