Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
