i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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