Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
whose ass print is on the piano?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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