the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
