marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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