i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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