just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
