conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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