Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
