can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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