sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
