Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
