You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
