Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
