We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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