My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
