Well apparently he's into motor boating.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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