Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
