there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
