He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
soo... how was my night?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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