Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
