since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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