Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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