people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Acid is not a monday night drug
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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