I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
organizing the empties. That sober.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
