This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
