matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
