sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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