Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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