maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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