I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
