ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
