I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
