Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
