That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
