I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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