As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
