Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
