so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
