Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
