conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
