Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
