OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
