But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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