theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
